Why Men Hate Going to Church Week One Reflections
Hey Guys, This is Pastor Craig with First Lutheran Church in Cedar
Rapids. Each week beginning today I’ll write up a summary of my teaching on the
last week’s reading as a way to move our discussion forward It will also
allow guys who are traveling to stay connected, keep up to speed, and even be
able to comment at the bottom of my blog. So here goes with week one!
This book “Why Men Hate Going to Church” hooked me right from the get-go when it uncovered the stark reality that less than 40% of all adults in Christian Churches today are male. I’m further intrigued by author David Murrow’s main supposition that our churches are run by females with the exception of a few male figure heads (me) who know how to cater to women because they of course keep the ship going! Our worship committees, outreach teams, and programs are designed largely by women with feminine tastes in mind that “play in Peoria” better with women. Guys walk into today’s churches (especially young men), smell the estrogen and say, “Well this isn’t for me! You go ahead and take the kids here and I’ll be in the garage or the golf course on Sunday where I’m more comfortable. I will still believe in God; I can just tell this whole church thing is not designed for me. Don’t worry I’ll be sure to join you on the three male obligation days of attendance on Easter, Christmas, and Mother’s Day.” … Does this sound like you?
This is not to bash women or women in power. Thank God for them showing up or we wouldn’t have a church! No one needs to write a book “Why Women Hate Going to Church” because they don’t! Female millennials are a whole other discussion, but largely women have carried the ball forward for decades now and are to be applauded. I was so happy to see Murrow’s disclaimers on page xiv of the Introduction titled, “Seven things you will not find in this book” including the phrase ‘submit to me woman’ saying this book is not about subjugating women or male dominance, just male resurgence in the church. And that’s badly needed, isn’t it?
It sounds simplistic to say, but because women show up and are a constant regardless of circumstances, when and where men decide to show up, churches succeed. If we can find a way to engage the hearts of men, especially high testosterone, risk-taking, full-throttle, “I’m-just-not-a-big-fan-of-church” men, we can have a kingdom impact on our church, our families, and our community. In short, the world needs us, men! And Christ is calling us today on a high-stakes mission to FOLLOW HIM and gather others like us with a lion’s heart who dare to take the dangerous path less traveled.
Along these lines I was so excited to see more than 30 men of all ages engaging - and I mean really engaging - in our first night of this study. We had a college kid, a few seasoned men, and lots of guys in the their 30s and 40s and I know more have told me they are coming. There was lively discussion, Parlor City was a cool location with cold beer and good food, and who knew NewBo is absolutely buzzing on Thursday nights in the summer? I sure didn’t. Note to self - leave home a few minutes earlier next time to find a closer parking spot. Geez!
I am so excited about what God is doing. I am literally counting the days until we get to gather again at 7:30 p.m. this Thursday. This week we will look at the type of guys who are missing from our pews on the weekends, some funny “man laws,” and a more in-depth look at a side of Christ that is very compelling to men (and largely missing from our churches today).
In Christ,
-Pastor Craig
This book “Why Men Hate Going to Church” hooked me right from the get-go when it uncovered the stark reality that less than 40% of all adults in Christian Churches today are male. I’m further intrigued by author David Murrow’s main supposition that our churches are run by females with the exception of a few male figure heads (me) who know how to cater to women because they of course keep the ship going! Our worship committees, outreach teams, and programs are designed largely by women with feminine tastes in mind that “play in Peoria” better with women. Guys walk into today’s churches (especially young men), smell the estrogen and say, “Well this isn’t for me! You go ahead and take the kids here and I’ll be in the garage or the golf course on Sunday where I’m more comfortable. I will still believe in God; I can just tell this whole church thing is not designed for me. Don’t worry I’ll be sure to join you on the three male obligation days of attendance on Easter, Christmas, and Mother’s Day.” … Does this sound like you?
This is not to bash women or women in power. Thank God for them showing up or we wouldn’t have a church! No one needs to write a book “Why Women Hate Going to Church” because they don’t! Female millennials are a whole other discussion, but largely women have carried the ball forward for decades now and are to be applauded. I was so happy to see Murrow’s disclaimers on page xiv of the Introduction titled, “Seven things you will not find in this book” including the phrase ‘submit to me woman’ saying this book is not about subjugating women or male dominance, just male resurgence in the church. And that’s badly needed, isn’t it?
It sounds simplistic to say, but because women show up and are a constant regardless of circumstances, when and where men decide to show up, churches succeed. If we can find a way to engage the hearts of men, especially high testosterone, risk-taking, full-throttle, “I’m-just-not-a-big-fan-of-church” men, we can have a kingdom impact on our church, our families, and our community. In short, the world needs us, men! And Christ is calling us today on a high-stakes mission to FOLLOW HIM and gather others like us with a lion’s heart who dare to take the dangerous path less traveled.
Along these lines I was so excited to see more than 30 men of all ages engaging - and I mean really engaging - in our first night of this study. We had a college kid, a few seasoned men, and lots of guys in the their 30s and 40s and I know more have told me they are coming. There was lively discussion, Parlor City was a cool location with cold beer and good food, and who knew NewBo is absolutely buzzing on Thursday nights in the summer? I sure didn’t. Note to self - leave home a few minutes earlier next time to find a closer parking spot. Geez!
I am so excited about what God is doing. I am literally counting the days until we get to gather again at 7:30 p.m. this Thursday. This week we will look at the type of guys who are missing from our pews on the weekends, some funny “man laws,” and a more in-depth look at a side of Christ that is very compelling to men (and largely missing from our churches today).
In Christ,
-Pastor Craig
I'm curious for those of you who came Thursday night, what is one thing that stuck with you? For those you traveling, what's one idea from the reading that has intrigued you?
ReplyDeleteI would first like to say it was great to see so many guys last week at the book study. The one thing that has stuck with me is how the author mentions that church is really geared toward women and not men. I have never thought about it that much and thought, since I enjoy going that church is really geared to both men and women. I must say, that I did count to see the differences this past weekend in the numbers between men attending compared to women. I'm looking forward to the book study this Thursday!
DeleteI too was surprised to hear less men went to Church than women. I'm looking forward to brainstorming ideas/plans of action, to get more men in the pews!
ReplyDeleteI thought about how the conversation is men coming to "church", but I think that there is a fundamental disconnect. Church is a vessel or a channel. What is the actual value and/or product that men would be looking for. If "church'" attendence is identified as the goal and the experience of sitting in a church service is the product of value, I think we miss the opportunity to really explore and understand where the value lies for individual people. For many people, the value is not "going to church", but maybe support, socialization, a break from life, a donut hole, structure, family continuity, etc. It would seem to me that the value to men should be understood and targeted. Then "going to church" is not the objective, it becomes a symptom (positive consequence) of focusing energy into developing/defining the product (value) itself.
ReplyDeleteWe talked about five factors that are needed for church growth. The things mentioned were great, but they were symptoms of church growth, not strategies for church growth. Examples: Diversity - diversity will not significantly create growth, but growth can create diversity. Financial stability - a vetted fiscal plan is critical, but to say that it will create growth is again looking at the relationship backwards. Sustained fiscal viability is created by a healthy and robust donating membership base.
I am interested to talk about some of the conclusions he draws with the premises he presents. The arguments he lays are quick, and I have found myself understanding the point, but realizing that there are fundamental logical fallacies in his assumptions, premises, and conclusions. It would be interesting to be able to talk those through and determine the impact of the conclusion if the argument is deemed invalid or unsound.
I also found myself thinking that the book, so far, seems to be using the men vs women gimmick a little heavy. I really thought he was onto something when he was focusing on personality types and how those may make a person predisposed to either embrace the church or distance themselves from it.
It is supply and demand. It would take some hard, intense conversation to evaluate supply and demand as a church and church members. What is the demand of the church member? What is the supply from the church? Are they inline with eachother or miles apart?
I am excited that I will be able to join you this week. It will be great to be part of the discussion and see what other people thinking about the reading material.
ReplyDelete