Why Men Hate Going to Chruch Week 3 Reflections


Good news! This Thursday we turn our attention from the problems of “Why Men Hate Going to Church.” to the solutions.  Hope you can all join us at 7:30 at Parlor City!  Our discussion will focus on the chapters 11-14 including my favorite one so far “How Churches Drive Boys Away from the Faith” because it shows how important male mentors are and how easy it is for all of us to make a difference!

Here are my thoughts from our last gathering.  First of all, sorry fellas, the first chapter on “Victoria’s Secret…When We Lost the Men,” is not about the store in the mall but the Victorian age. Essentially the Industrial Revolution took the men away from the homestead and the family farm to work long hours at the mines, mills, and factories including more travel and more weekends which took men further away from the family parish.  We’ve had an uphill battle with men and faith seemingly ever since.   

The Christian-Industrial Complex includes a great illustration of Gillette’s Venus Embrace and Fusion ProGlide razors.  They offer the EXACT same shave, only one is packaged in pastel colors and marketed to women and the other comes in chrome and black and looks like a weapon an alien might use on Star Wars. Companies understand the difference in marketing to men and women and it’s about time for us to understand how to market the gospel for men and to be okay with it if it makes some of us uncomfortable.  If you read nothing else, speed read p. 61-62.

Men and Contemporary Worship’s main point is for a while there contemporary music seemed to be about singing the same phrase over and over again, i.e. “I love you Jesus, I love you Jesus… etc.  Murrow says lovey-dovey lyrics forces a man to express his affection to God using words he would never ever say to another guy, even a guy he loves.  While this appeals off the charts positively to women, the majority of men are looking for a male leader, not a male lover.  Murrow points out that many contemporary Christian artists have recently shied away from this language in pop hits and none of us see it at First Lutheran during our contemporary service.  They do a fantastic job making everyone – men and women – feel welcome to join in.   

Twelve Things Men Fear About the Church is a catch all for reasons guys shy away from church. I think the most poignant was #2: I’ll Lose Control.  Murrow says a man’s greatest fear is powerlessness, whereas a woman’s greatest fear is loneliness.  Messages from the pulpit that say, “You need to give control of your life to God and enter into a personal relationship with the One who will never leave you or forsake you” force men to face their deepest fear – loss of control, while assuring women they will never have to face their deepest fear – she’ll never be alone.  It’s paradoxical and problematic.  Frankly, I’m glad it’s one you don’t hear a lot from our church.

As always, I welcome your thoughts below.  Hope to see you all at 7:30 p.m. at Parlor City!

In Christ,
-Pr. Craig

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