Why Men Hate Going to Church Week 4 Reflections
Guys thanks for another night of energizing discussion and to our six guys who turned in a survey of "How Guy Friendly is Your Church?" First Lutheran scored a composite score of 251. Murrow says while a score of 50 would indicate a serious problem reaching men, a score of 450 would not be desirable either. It would be too masculine. He says 300-350 is about right and our 251 is pretty darn good. That's a good sign!
Another good sign is the great turn-out each week we get from guys of all ages to this study. This past Thursday we talked about "The Stars vs. the Scrubs," "Check Your Testosterone at the Door," "How Churches Feminize Over Time," and "How Churches Drive Boys Away from the Faith." Let's look briefly at each.
The main point of "The Stars vs. the Scrubs" is when it comes to churchgoing most women are potential stars and most men are likely to warm the bench because we don't posses the natural skills of being verbal studious, and sensitive it takes to excel at church as we've currently constructed it. There is a great analogy on page 94 of Michael Jordan (the world's greatest basketball player I thank you!) of failing at the different sport of baseball because a person + their skills = high competence. Men + work and hobbies = high competence. When you add men + church = low competence. This led to a great discussion at our table of is this the movement that Jesus really had in mind? People sitting around for an hour a week listening to some guy talk about how to be the church? Or can the church also be hands-on, guy-friendly activities that change the world for the better in the name of Christ?
"Check Your Testosterone at the Door" dealt with the décor of the church (among other things) which our guys thought we do pretty well with. It was mentioned that we should think about keeping things gender neutral when we remodel the sanctuary.
"How Churches Feminize Over Time" featured a great thought-provoking chart on page 108 about a young growing church aggressively playing "offense" and an older established church playing "defense." Guys (especially younger men) like to be aggressive and build buildings, take risks, initiate ministry and are drawn to a church that is launching or on the way up. Women generally see the church as a network of relationships and keeping those current people in those relationships happy. When this becomes at is at risk, they tend to make safer, compromising decisions which slowly weans away the men, the young men, then the young women, young couples visit and see few people their age, the nursery closes due to lack of children, and suddenly according to Murrow "the pews are full of gray hair."
"How Churches Drive Boys Away from the Faith" deals with boys who get discouraged when they attend Sunday School and are forced to sit still and look up verses in the Bible because it works in their weakness: they lack fine motor skills and reading aloud. They find they would rather spend their time on Sunday mornings where they excel: the soccer field or frankly anywhere but church. Parents wanting to build their self-esteem reinforce this and the snowball rolls on.
This Thursday we will look at "The Battle to Reengage Men." "Why Megachurches are Mega," "Pastors and Men," "Teaching and Men," and "Getting the Big Story Right." As always, I welcome your thoughts below. Hope to see you all at 7:30 p.m. at Parlor City!
In Christ,
-Pr. Craig
Another good sign is the great turn-out each week we get from guys of all ages to this study. This past Thursday we talked about "The Stars vs. the Scrubs," "Check Your Testosterone at the Door," "How Churches Feminize Over Time," and "How Churches Drive Boys Away from the Faith." Let's look briefly at each.
The main point of "The Stars vs. the Scrubs" is when it comes to churchgoing most women are potential stars and most men are likely to warm the bench because we don't posses the natural skills of being verbal studious, and sensitive it takes to excel at church as we've currently constructed it. There is a great analogy on page 94 of Michael Jordan (the world's greatest basketball player I thank you!) of failing at the different sport of baseball because a person + their skills = high competence. Men + work and hobbies = high competence. When you add men + church = low competence. This led to a great discussion at our table of is this the movement that Jesus really had in mind? People sitting around for an hour a week listening to some guy talk about how to be the church? Or can the church also be hands-on, guy-friendly activities that change the world for the better in the name of Christ?
"Check Your Testosterone at the Door" dealt with the décor of the church (among other things) which our guys thought we do pretty well with. It was mentioned that we should think about keeping things gender neutral when we remodel the sanctuary.
"How Churches Feminize Over Time" featured a great thought-provoking chart on page 108 about a young growing church aggressively playing "offense" and an older established church playing "defense." Guys (especially younger men) like to be aggressive and build buildings, take risks, initiate ministry and are drawn to a church that is launching or on the way up. Women generally see the church as a network of relationships and keeping those current people in those relationships happy. When this becomes at is at risk, they tend to make safer, compromising decisions which slowly weans away the men, the young men, then the young women, young couples visit and see few people their age, the nursery closes due to lack of children, and suddenly according to Murrow "the pews are full of gray hair."
"How Churches Drive Boys Away from the Faith" deals with boys who get discouraged when they attend Sunday School and are forced to sit still and look up verses in the Bible because it works in their weakness: they lack fine motor skills and reading aloud. They find they would rather spend their time on Sunday mornings where they excel: the soccer field or frankly anywhere but church. Parents wanting to build their self-esteem reinforce this and the snowball rolls on.
This Thursday we will look at "The Battle to Reengage Men." "Why Megachurches are Mega," "Pastors and Men," "Teaching and Men," and "Getting the Big Story Right." As always, I welcome your thoughts below. Hope to see you all at 7:30 p.m. at Parlor City!
In Christ,
-Pr. Craig
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